A Matter of Death and Life - book review July 2021

I was initially attracted to this book because I really enjoyed an earlier novel by Irvin Yalom (Lying on the Couch) plus the title A Matter of Death and Life is similar to my own book on death.

When Irvin Yalom's wife Marilyn of 70 years develops a terminal illness, they decide to write a book together about her final months. It’s then followed by Irvin’s challenging 100+ days on how he tries to cope living without her. They write alternate chapters about the effects or lack of new treatments, growing old, memory loss and fear of dying. It’s touching, moving and very elegantly written. 

Irvin is an existential psychiatrist and therapist, and Marilyn was a historian and feminist. She writes courageously and I really enjoyed reading her innermost thoughts especially about death which she didn’t fear at all. Irvin, now 90, has written numerous nonfiction books and novels about his patients - some of whom had a fear about death.  Intriguingly, after Marilyn’s death he rereads several of his own books (some were written 30 years ago) which help dispel his fears. 

It’s all here, written in a raw and unfiltered fashion:  What is a good death? How to live fully? Alone in your grief?  I highly recommend this short book. But beware – you might become addicted to some of Irvin’s other books!